Are you ready for some premature writing? Some words I have no intentions on piecing together well? Are you prepared to be confused? Do you have the will to go back over back over that sentence you just read to make sure you read it correctly? If you answered “maybe” to all those questions… Meh, that’s good enough for me.
I’m tired. I’m friggin’ tired. I don’t like writing out slang, but because I’m tired, I have a good excuse to do so. I was up till 4:00 am last night and I slept in until 11:00 am. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was dad. See, I was housesitting, which is why he had to call me. I’m looking forward to having a place of my own. Although, when I think about it, I don’t really think about having a house of my own. I really don’t. I don’t think about choosing the right neighborhood or picking a good house. Honestly, I don’t.
When I think about my life, all I imagine is traveling. In a bus or an RV. I kid you not. That’s what I’m thinking. Right now, that’s all I have in my mind. These images of me sleeping in a big RV with a couple friends sitting at a small table playing cards and another one in the driver’s seat, humming some new tune he just came up that morning. We’re on our way to our next show. That’s right. Show. I just want to tour. I think of nothing else I’d rather do. Sure, get married… To the lead singer!!! I want to go to Bible College, gain a knowledge of the Bible I always knew I should have, perfect the skills needed to perform and touch people, and then hoof it into some band with good music and a good message. Now that’s what I call an appealing ministry! Talking to people all around the country and learning what they have to think about God and Jesus and Christianity in general. Non-Christians have so much to offer my life. I would rather perform for a large group of non-Christians and have them simply be in the same vicinity as my music than for a bunch of Christians who don’t need to hear me say, “God loves you more than you’ll ever know.” If out of all those non-Christians only one comes up to me afterwards and asks me, “Hey, in that third song you played? When you said blah-blah-blah? What did you mean?” Just one! Just one person who’s curious about it! I’ll be praising God. Praise God if any lyric or note of mine strikes a chord in someone’s heart. Praise God.
I don’t want to marry some youth pastor or Christian counselor and then settle down and become the perfect housewife. That’s not what I want. I haven’t wanted those things since I was 15–the same year I learned how to play the guitar. However, I do want to go to Bible College more than anything else, as of right now. But when I’m done, when I’ve got what it is I need from Bethany, I think God is taking me on the road. And I don’t think I’ll be going alone.