Quit guitar today. Temporarily… maybe? I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever go back. It’s a lot of money and I’m not as far along in my skills as I wish I were. Not my guitar teacher’s fault. No way. However, maybe his teaching method works for some people better than it does me. Don’t get me wrong, because I adore Rick and I’ve really loved having him for my teacher. I just don’t know if it was ever right. I’ve come a long ways and I’ve grown a lot since I started two years ago, but I think I should still be a whole lot farther… But I also think it’s just me.
So, it’s begun. The simplification process. I honestly feel like a huge pressure has been lifted off me already. Because guitar has ranked one of the highest on my priorities list. It was a big part of my life. Still is. Only now, I’m accountable only to myself when it comes to the consistency of practicing. That’ll be nice. Practice when I feel like it. Work on things that not only do I need work on but also enjoy. Let me tell you–pentatonic scales and arpeggios are going on the “Wait List” for a while. Ugh…
Continuing on in this process of simplifying my life…
I’ll be calling Debra tomorrow afternoon to tell her I won’t be able to give her or her daughter horseback riding lessons anymore. They take two a month. I say it again… Two days. One month. A whopping $100 total, and even so… It’s a very unreliable source of income. Things come up, schedules change, people get sick and can’t show up or can’t teach… It’s something I can no longer depend on for even simple petty cash. An even bigger reason as to why I can’t give the lessons anymore is the biggest factor of them all and will have the strongest effect on me emotionally:
I have to sell Tuffy. My beloved. No, I don’t ride him regularly. No, I don’t really compete with him anymore. But that doesn’t make him any less mine or stop me from loving him all the more! I love my horse. I really do. If I could, I would keep him forever and give him to my first child to ride. Because by the time I’d have my own kids, Tuffy’d be an old geezer who couldn’t move very fast in the first place–perfect for little kids. But the fact is that he’s worth a lot. And my education is worth even more. I hate to say that, but I know it’s true. The money I’ll receive for him will go straight into my college savings and it’ll help my parents out immensely. There’s just that nagging fear that something horrible could happen to him if I’m not there to stop it. Responsibility for the love and care I have for Tuffy… And all that…
To simplify one’s life is to benefit it in the long run, but I must admit… It’s not so simple to do. In fact, it’s incredibly hard. I don’t like doing it at all.
