Pray for me! I have an issue!
This is an exerpt from another blog that I have with a friend, but I wanted to post it because it’s a huge deal to me right now and I want to be reminded of it constantly, because I really want to change…
“For once, I wish I wasn’t the one confessing my feelings for another person. I mean, I really do LOVE to tell people the truth about all the good things I think of them, and of course, the reason I love to do that is because I wish people would tell me the truth in that same way! Do unto others what I would want to have done unto me, right? So I do! I tell people often how great I think they are. I wonder if I do it selfishly, like, underneath all of it. Maybe, in the inner innards of my heart… perhaps I am complimenting people selfishly in hopes that I might get a compliment in return. I mean, I feel like it’s a rather innocent issue, but maybe it’s there. It’s like the whole, “give a gift without expecting anything in return” thing. Maybe I shoud just give people their praise without wanting anything back. And most of the time, it doesn’t cross my mind, “Aren’t you going to tell me something that’s great about me now?” I can’t think of any time that that has crossed my mind. But that’s why I am saying, maybe it is there hidden in my heart, and maybe that’s why I don’t feel good about myself most of the time, and maybe that’s why I get so discouraged all the time. Maybe that is what is keeping me from the ULTIMATE faith in God! For all I know, my entire relationship with people and with God can come down this whole issue on whether I am truly selfish at heart or not!
… … yikes, did I just spill over? I know I wrote all that, but part of me can’t believe it. I think I needed that and I’m really sorry for going all intense on you. That was a bit much… I think that this has been trying to surface, though… so, thanks, because I think this was a good thing.
Alright, I am gonna go. This is probably going to take you a long time to read.
I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great morning tomorrow.”
Yeah, so if there is anyone out there who reads this, I would greatly appreciate any prayer that you may have to offer. It’s important to me that I don’t have a selfish/prideful heart. I really do want to love people the way Jesus loves them and see them the way He sees them. I don’t want there to be any underlying goal when it comes to encouraging or praising others for who they are. I want to benefit them without thinking that it’ll come back to me somehow. I truly want to love others more than I love myself and to love God with all my heart.
I appreciate your prayer.
Thanks and in Jesus, I pray that you have peace.
To desire hope, therefore, is to desire Jesus.