Going Solo. Crud.
This month is going to become very difficult for me. Some very important people in my life are leaving for college or some sort of school and I won’t get to see them nearly as much as I would if they stayed here.
What really sucks is the fact that I am going on vacation from Aug. 21 thru Sept. 1 and my best friend leaves on the 31st! Dude! It’s like the worst timing ever! And she’s flying off to Canada where I certainly will not be and it’s going to be very frustrating not having her around all the time. Of course, we have excellent ways of communication, but nonetheless, I am used to being able to see her whenever I feel like it, and now, that privilege is being stripped away!
Not only is she leaving, but so is Erin, for Evangelical School back in Australia. I won’t see her for at least 6 months. And my dear friend, Ryan, who has become very important to me, is leaving on Sept. 2… hopefully. I mean, I don’t want him to leave on the 1st, the day I get back, cuz then, I for sure would not have the chance to see him, and that would suck! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! Ok, and my other best friend is leaving for Tacoma on the 25th, which I guess, is not so bad as the others, but that’s not exactly a 20 minute drive either.
Oh yeah, and my pastor’s leaving! Yup! My beloved pastor is leaving! I cannot describe how angry I feel every time I think about it. Not at him, and not at the church, and not at God, or anyone else. I’m just angry at the whole situation. I don’t want a new pastor, I like the one I have now. In fact, I adore him! He is a wonderful, wonderful, encouraging man who never, ever made me feel condemned or alone or seperated from God. But now, he’s moving to Poulsbo to pursue a business marketing career, which he would be excellent at, but still doesn’t make me feel any better.
So, yeah… I feel like I’m being deserted by all the people that I depend on and trust and love, when really, they are just taking new steps in their lives. I guess, I feel a little left behind. I still have one year left of community college and it’s going to be quite the load each quarter. A big part of me believes that this whole thing is God’s way of telling me that I need to start putting all of my dependence and faith and trust into Him. For the last year or two, I’ve been completely devoted and loyal to my friends, which is a good thing, but not when it takes away from my relationship with Christ. I think God is basically saying, “Now, who have you got left, Carly?” And of course, I am happy to say that I definitely not alone and that He will be here to talk to and for company all year, and all my life. But I know, that although this year will be hard and enduring, it will still be good, because God is for sure walking by my side, ready to help me in any way possible.
Ok, so, I’ve relieved a lot of pressure off my chest. Peace out, brothers and sisters! Loverly!