It’s been almost a week since I became single again and I feel it’s necessary to give a status report. Generally, the happiness I have is overwhelming. While a bit of me is sad, it’s only because there are still questions I have left unanswered and I feel they will never be resolved. That aside, the joy in my heart dilutes any sorrow I may have. So much so that it’s even hard for me to believe I was ever hurt. Me? A broken heart? Pfft! Please.
But the reminders are there. The daily encouraging words from family and friends. “How you doing? Is it starting to get easier?” The welcome advice from those who have “been there” and agree that I deserve better. Hmm… Maybe not “better”… Hard to imagine at this point. Although, I still know in my core that I’ve got to set the bar higher.
I visited my family night before last. They are truly beautiful people and I wish you knew how lucky I am to be part of it. After thoroughly enjoying every last one of them–father, mother, sister, brother, brother-in-law–my heart is overflowing with love and passion for my family. Because they care about me and I take that for granted.
Believe it or not, I’m not having “a moment.” This isn’t just a bunch of sap I felt like sharing with the world. This is simply how I’ve felt all week. Good. I just feel good. And infinitely happy.
Especially after seeing my brother. While every last member of my family makes me smile and laugh and reflect the magic of God in some different way than anybody, it was my brother that brought me to tears that night. Pure, joyful tears. Tears of laughter and tears of conviction. I was floored. And he made me realize that he is “the bar” for me. The bar. If someone can prove themselves as worthy and true as my brother, then they won’t have to fight for me in the least. My best friend and confidante–Kyle has set the standard.
So just know that I’m quite happy. Despite the breakup, I’m as optimistic as I ever have been. My attitude is approachable, my hopes are high, and my goals attainable. I’d say becoming single has been one of the best things to happen to me since moving into my own apartment. Quite a thrill.
Thanks for all your prayers. I will credit them to much of my happiness. This has been a holy and blessed week and I couldn’t have had it without your words of compassion and love. I (we) believe in the best God.