I have reached a point in my life where I do not know what I want to write, what I should write, or if I have nothing else to write that hasn’t been written before. There are blips of thought that run through my mind each day, which I could easily write about but won’t because they might only be interesting to me. Take, for example, the fact that I would really love to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in concert one day. Because I’ve read reviews and seen pictures and Karen O looks like a wild child on LSD.
Interesting? I’m not even sure if it’s interesting to myself, but it’s truth and that’s all I have.
Nothing is the same anymore. No one is the same. People are gone, getting engaged, or have disappeared completely. Nothing feels like it used to. High school is done, community college is done, although there’s still university. Everything is changing and when I think long and hard enough, I’m only reminded of steadily rising tuition costs and gas prices. And how much older I feel everyday.
Yet I still remember the bus route exactly from when I was in the fifth grade. I was the second-to-last stop. Unless it was Friday, when the bus driver went backwards.
Jobs. They all have jobs. And it keeps them all busy and tired and sleepy and saying, “I dunno, I dunno…” over and over throughout the day. My friends just don’t feel like it these days. At least, not in my company. Except for Steph. And Andy, when we’re together.
I feel like trailing off… Like walking along a beach and turning back to see your footsteps fading away as the tide steals them back. Yes, I’m serious.
But Andy will be here in two weeks. That’ll feel much better.