This is about me.
She was never a girl who took the easiest route. That was simply who she was. Certain things may have appeared laziness on her part, like sleeping in until noon and never bothering to learn how to cook anything besides Ramen… But when it came to life and relationships, she aspired to be different in any way possible.
“I don’t want to meet the man I’m supposed to be with in a coffee shop or in some biology class we both had to take in school… I want to meet him under extreme circumstances, when the possibility of meeting is slim to none.”
Everyone thought she was naive to think this way. Family and friends worried that the right guy would come along and she would miss out on him simply because they didn’t meet by the standard she had set. But the way she thought and the way they thought were completely different. Because she always believed in her heart that if she wanted something badly enough, God would know and would make her dreams come true.
They thought she’d grow out of it. They thought that after some time, reality would sink in and some local boy would sweep her off her feet. However, the local boys were not as inclined to woo as her friends and family hoped they’d be. Of course, there were times when the sparks were potentially strong, but something would fall through and she would be left, disappointed and single still.
All those who loved and cared for her worried for her, prayed for her, and hoped that she wouldn’t get hurt. All they wanted was for a nice, kind, gentlemanly fellow to take her by the hand and guide her into a secure and pleasant future. At the same time, they hoped other things about him too – things that she didn’t necessarily desire in a man. They all wanted what was best for her, but she knew what was best for her was not going to be what was best for most other girls. But this was very difficult for anyone else to see.
A deep thinker, a quiet observer, a good listener… These were the things that described the person she hoped to be matched with someday. She grew up with people who loved to talk and entertain, people who were educated and had big dreams – people who have always wanted to be different than anyone else who ever lived. And she was like them, and in many ways still is. Her desires in life have remained and will remain to have a mind that observes the world through a different sort of light. Because it’s important to her to study things that are not typically described as “beautiful” and to find the magic that exists in everything there is. That is who she wanted to be growing up, and that is who she has become.
But the people who love her most will continue to worry and resent her stubborn nature because they know she’s not going to change. All who care about her want, more than anything, for her to make the right choices. However, the “right choices” appear to be the wrong choices to her. What they see as right, she sees as far too easy. The hardest thing to do in life is to follow through what the heart speaks to us everyday and most people struggle to do so… People will call her ignorant, naive, stupid, silly, weird, vulnerable, at risk, and a fool, but nothing like that can steer her from the course that she has so aptly followed the majority of her life.
She has always known that their advice comes from good intentions and she loves them for the care and concern they express to her each day. There was a time when she would get angry and yell at anyone who told her how wrong she was for the choices she would make, but she has since given up on making everyone understand. Because how could they? It would not be fair to expect them to understand when she has tried so hard all her life to think differently than everyone around her.
As much as she wishes for people to trust and have faith in her, she knows it’s not that simple. But of all the things she has come to believe, there is one thing she believes in most and that there are things in life that are greater than making mistakes, like helping a stranger, stopping the car to watch the sun go down, running through the snow barefoot, and moving across the country to be with someone you love.
“Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:8