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“You can tell you’re not from around here by the milk you have in your refrigerator.”

“What? My milk?”

“It’s not Mayfield’s.”

“Everyone buys Mayfield’s?”

“Yeah. Everybody from eastern Tennessee.”

“Milk is milk! There’s no difference!”

“There is and everyone knows that it’s the best.”

“How can people compare milk?”

“It is the best, though.”

“Milk is milk. I’m not buying Mayfield’s.”

I don’t compare milk. If it says “skim” and it’s under two bucks, then I’m buying it.