Dear Starbucks Drive-Thru Customer,
Please do not come through the drive-thru to order three large drinks and then sigh exasperately into the speaker when I tell you the total. Furthermore, do not drive up to the window to wince and grimace at me when I confirm your total for your convenience. If you have a problem with Starbucks’ prices, please feel free to call Starbucks Corporate in Seattle and complain. Because, if you are at all intelligent, you would know that I, a simpleton in the Starbucks universe, have absolutely no control or influence in the costs of the company’s drinks or products. If you notice no difference in the quality of these drinks, you can always hit up the corner gas station for their “cappuccino”, which I’m sorry to say, is most likely reheated Folgers from the day before. But at least, over there, it’s only a buck and 24 cents out of your pocket, right?
Starbucks Employee #1,318,456